Resignation

Oh sweet Jesus, Buddha, Sponge bob.

How good did it feel to hand in my resignation? Soooooooo good.

You know that feeling when you have needed to piss for 5 hours, but you have held it in, and then you finally get to piss and you moan your ass off with ecstasy as 5 hours of beer exits you in one of the most relieving and oddly pleasurable moments in your life.

If your in the men’s you kind of get a look of jealousy, they know what your on about. If your at home you get told to be quite because the neighbours can hear you and its inappropriate.

Well I had that moment today. I’m off for a liquid lunch followed up by work drinks in the wine loft, followed up with some Guinness at O’Hagan’s.

From China With Ruv

With running two posts on Asians in one day i believe I'm running the risk of appearing a racist. Regardless this is an article shamelessly poached from 236.


China will pay you to stop all that annoying "grieving"

With the world preparing to watch the Beijing Olympics during the CSI: Miami commercial breaks, China is making sure its people appear to be one big, happy family by asking people to not publicly mourn earthquake victims.

Yes, with the all eyes on China, the nation wants the world to know it has changed its secretive ways. That's why instead of killing dissenters unhappy with the government, it's offering to pay them off.

While this seems harsh via the stuffy lens of the New York Times, Chinese officials have actually started a friendly public awareness campaign urging citizens to mourn in their inside voices. We've translated a few for you.

African SpongeBob

Dont Make Me Veitch You!!!!

In completely bad taste i have adopted this saying to most domestic situations where Miss Molerat looks to be getting out of line.

Indeed i believe this should take place ahead of "Cook me Some Eggs!"

Yes i know its old already but ive been away and havent had the opportunity to share this so shut up......or ill Veitch you!

Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks

Gidday,

Something that has been holding my interest a great deal over the last few weeks is this website.

http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Main_Page

Its got some great stuff in there. Its a testament to my really poor sense of humour but here is a taste of what you can find. This one comes from the Mel Gibson Link.

Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson, AO (born January 3, 1956) is an Academy Award-winning actor, director, producer, screenwriter, alcoholic, anti-Semite, and a dick. After establishing himself as a household name by appearing in such classics as Tequila Sunrise and Bird on a Wire, Gibson went on to direct and star in Braveheart, a film whose most famous scene involves an entire army bending over, lifting up its skirts, and waggling its collected buttocks at another army, which in response stands there with its swords erect, ready to ram deep inside the enemy’s “line.” Not surprisingly, this film is especially popular in American fraternity houses, along with tea bagging, communal showers, and bathroom stalls with no door.

For Gibson’s work on Braveheart, he received the Oscar for Best Mullet. It really was an extraordinary mullet: lush, luxuriant—there was even a little braid woven down the side.
In 2004, Gibson produced and directed The Passion of the Christ, a controversial film portraying the last hours of the final days of some guy. Pretty much the only saving grace of this film is that Gibson himself did not star as this guy. Thanks largely to The Passion’s success—born entirely from the controversy it aroused rather than any real artistic, theatrical, and/or theological merit—Gibson was named #1 on the Forbes most powerful celebrity list, perhaps the most dicktacular list in America. Well, aside from maybe “Richest Person in Los Angeles.” Gibson cracks the Top 50 on that one, too.

Mel Gibson is Australian, though his accent comes and goes, especially during films in which he’s supposed to be an American revolutionary, for instance, or a melancholy Dane. He is perhaps the most odious thing to come from Australia, other than Olivia Newton John. And Chumbawumba. And Outback Steakhouse. And that disgusting black vegetable spread they love so much. In fact, nothing good has ever come from Australia. Okay, maybe Men At Work, but they haven’t released an album in 20 years, and also Nicole Kidman, but she hardly ever gets naked anymore (certainly no bush).

Russell Crowe wishes he were Mel Gibson so bad, it gives him a boner that a dingo couldn’t bite through.